It’s a weird time.
From reflections in coaching calls to proclamations in Instagram DMs to stories about unexpected encounters on airplanes, at the end of each interaction, the same conclusion surfaces. Something weird is happening.
The universe is cracking open.
Weird as in different from what we’re used to. Weird as in unexpected.
Is the weirdness from a seasonal shift? Does it emerge from us being pulled into pumpkin spice energy before the fall equinox? Could it be the astrological movements as they intersect with Elul's reflection and repair?
I mean, yes, probably.
I welcome weirdness as a teacher and listen to where it might lead.
My relationship with weirdness has changed over time.
Growing up, I was called “weird.” “That was a weird thing to say.” “Why did you wear that shirt, it’s weird.” This was a way of being corrected. Weird was wrong, outside, or other. I would take this feedback and try my best to adapt. I would tend to what was underlined as weird and meld it into something else to fit in. I wanted to belong. I dodged “weird” wherever it reared its corrective head.
I could never escape weirdness, though. I was a queer Ashkenazi Jewish kid of lesbians in Minnesota who thought gender roles were dumb and taking authority at its word was boring. So, the way I moved through spaces stood out. As I found other weirdos, however, I learned weirdness is a refusal to conform and go along with the dominant culture or expectations. To be weird often means something about how you’re showing up bends or breaks social rules. In doing so, weirdness opens up possibilities for a more expansive and creative world.
Every space has cultural patterns and power structures at play. There are norms about how to show up to be part of a group. Those norms are reinforced in both subtle and explicit ways. This is not inherently good or bad. However, the way norms are maintained can create somatic impact and material consequences of being included or excluded. When this is inscribed onto a systemic hierarchy that determines who can thrive or not, we get into dangerous territory.
From another angle, spaces that center belonging often draw a line to delineate who is part and not part of a space. This can be a dotted line and the line can move. But, as Priya Parker says in The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, you have to close a door to create an intentional room.
I found others through shared weirdness. Being in increasingly queer and trans spaces, embracing Jewish culture and practice in community, and deepening relationships with curious and creative beloveds, I am able to see this intense, dynamic, and expressive self as a gift – a source of connection and creation.
This by no means that there aren’t consequences for moving counter to the dominant culture – we live in human-constructed systems of violence and oppression that reward and punish certain ways of being in the world. A way of trying to “correct” beyond a simple exercise in name-calling.
In many ways, I found belonging through what makes me weird. It has been an active choice to embrace my strangeness, even and especially if that doesn’t resonate with everyone. I find the unexpected in those parts of myself – what a delight to be surprised. In my experience, I am not everyone’s vibe, and not everyone stays around. I think that means I am on the right track.
By leaning into weirdness, I think we can connect more authentically with those who want to be part of our lives, stories, and gifts and meet the unknown with curiosity and welcome.
In this transitional, weird season, may you open to what feels strange and outside the norm. May you sense into what feels aligned and misaligned, and envision how to close the gap between the two.
What is asking for space? How weird and strange could it get?
10Q is a reflection offering for the Days of Awe (Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur) – and it starts tomorrow! I appreciate this bite-sized space for reflection during this transformative arc. Each day 10Q allows you to respond to a prompt, then seals your reply until next year. It’s such a helpful way to reflect and time capsule the past year while setting intentions for the next.
I am excited to announce that I will be part of the Jewish Studio Project’s Creative Facilitator Training starting this October! This is a two-year intensive fellowship to deepen my relationship with the Jewish Studio Process and learn how to bring this method into my life and professional practice. I look forward to diving into this learning and making soon!
I was featured in the first episode of Slow Brew Sunday (time stamp 15:36). You can hear my response to the prompt: What’s a limiting belief you held and how did you shift it?
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Sending ease your way and until next time,